Hustle and Bustle or Rest and Revive!

Welcome back to term 3- another term of school, kinder and life!  Term 3 has a different air about it.  The weather slowly starts to improve, and the days start to lengthen.  There seems to be hope filling the air.  Hope for warmer weather, hope for sun, hope for the joy of spring, although for some it can still feel so out of reach.

I’ve been reflecting on the school holidays and what they mean for people?  For some it may mean slowing down, a time to stay home, relax, not make school lunches and not rush here there and everywhere.  For others it may be a time to connect with people you haven’t seen for a while, to catch up and re-connect.  For others it means chaos and cries of “I’m bored” and “there’s nothing to do”. For others the juggles of the kids as parents continue to work and kids need to be looked after.  For grandparents it may be more time with the grandchildren to support their own children as they manage this juggle. While for others it means the dreaded illnesses- the sickness as soon as you stop the go go go.  The time when you are supposed to be resting and rejuvenating and instead you crumble in a heap.

Just like everything in life, each transition, each phase, each season, means something different to all of us.  We are each unique individuals with unique experiences and unique nervous systems that responding to things differently.  How amazing is that?  Something that at it’s core is the same in each of us, yet can be so unique and so individual in it’s responses and experiences.  Of course this is a very simplistic way to look at something so intricate and connected but the fact remains, at our core humans have the same needs to feel safe, connected, loved, heard and seen.  When we feel these things we thrive, when we don’t we survive.

So why is it that we continue to fill our days with the go, go, go?  Why do we push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion, illness, depression, anxiety and despair?  Why do we continue to engage in things that we know are harmful, or at the very least, don’t fulfill us?  Why do push on in this survival mode thinking the next thing will be what “fixes” us, the next thing will make it better?  Why do we think we need to be fixed?

The answer is that many of us don’t feel safe, connected, loved, heard and seen.  Many of us have nervous systems in chronic fight, flight, freeze or shutdown.  Many of us are self-soothing, self-medicating, self-numbing.  Filling our days and weeks and years with stuff, with experiences, with rushing and more.  Scared to stop in case we must face what is there.  Scared to stop in case we do not start again. Scared that if we are not busy we will be seen as weak, hopeless, not useful.

In a culture that demands excellence, that puts a status symbol on being overworked, that creates a stigma on rest and recovery, the ability to stop, to pause, to reflect and to rejuvenate is not prized.  Because of this we are seeing more chaos, more mental illness, more sickness and more suicides than ever before.  Our Country is in crisis and it far exceeds that of COVID. It is a pandemic that hides in the shadows, that is swept under the rug and that is creating a society of stress, fatigue, frustration and resentment. Not the way human beings should live- that’s right human beings not human doings.

So, what is the answer?  Well, I don’t have them all, in fact I’m not sure I have any.  But I do have what is in my heart. A feeling to step out of the fog, to open our eyes and begin to really look inside.  To pause before reacting. To breath and ask is this really what I need before saying yes and overcommitting.  To gain knowledge and understanding of our nervous system, our experiences and our lives. To really look inside and ask what do I want for myself, my family, my community, my country and my world.  And then to ask what is it that we actually need, on all of these levels.

I envision a world that is filled with love, kindness, compassion and gratitude. One where people are connected to self, other, nature and spirit. Where people smile and feel joy.  Where people are not scared to slow down and rest, where we don’t fear asking for help, where we can say we are struggling and be buoyed by communities of kindness.  I envision that but right now it is not what I see.  And I want to change that!  So, ask yourself, is that what you see now? And if it is not do you want to see something different?  Do you choose hustle and bustle or rest and revive? And is that really what you want to choose?

Stay tuned to the blog on Wednesday for a practice to bring loving kindness to your world and that around you as well as a 1 minute practice to use everyday.

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